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I have asked if anyone is picking up anything about this before, but with no answer, so I try again 
I have a good friend and colleague, "J", who I get this feeling is putting up a facade to me. We allways have a lot of fun and I have no doubt he really appreciates our friendship. But I also feel like he is always keeping things very lighthearted to avoid "letting me in" if that makes any sense. Like he doesn't want me to know anything about how he's really doing emotionally etc.
So I wonder - is everything OK with him, is he happy? Or are there things he doesn't want me to know about? Maybe he's just really good at compartmentalizing his life and our friendship and working together goes somewhere else than his private life...
I have a good friend and colleague, "J", who I get this feeling is putting up a facade to me. We allways have a lot of fun and I have no doubt he really appreciates our friendship. But I also feel like he is always keeping things very lighthearted to avoid "letting me in" if that makes any sense. Like he doesn't want me to know anything about how he's really doing emotionally etc.
So I wonder - is everything OK with him, is he happy? Or are there things he doesn't want me to know about? Maybe he's just really good at compartmentalizing his life and our friendship and working together goes somewhere else than his private life...
posted in General Readings
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Accepted Answer
I see that it makes quite a bit of sense. J has a strong sense of individuality. He likes to keep people at arms length when things are not quite right in his life. Do not take it personally. He is just really busy and working through some issues. He is keeping something from you. He does not want to burden others with his issues. Give him some space. He will get through it in time. Offering help at this point is not advised. I see that this is something J must get through on his own. Wait a week or two you should see a change in his demeanor once he gains resolution on his issues. 
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danish pastrymore than a month agoThank you for your answer, Gimel. I think you're right about just giving him time and space. I think asking would just jeopardize our friendship, and I have allways known him to be an extremely private person.
But I just recently became aware that he has kept me apart from (knowing about) his personal life all the time I've known him (which is not that long, just over a year). Are these issues new? I really do wish him the best!
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