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  1. jlilly6984
  2. Love
  3. Sunday, October 06 2013, 06:39 PM
My fiance and I broke up over the summer for a few weeks. I messed around with a person and told him the truth about it. We had then decided to try and work things out but we fight about it all the time. I think he did too and I also think he still is. I don't bring it up or anything but I would like to have an idea of what the truth is. Its not really fair to keep going through this mentally if he was or is wrong too. We just fight about it all way way too much. Any answers please. Thank you in advance.:)
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jlilly6984 Accepted Answer Pending Moderation
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Thank you so much gimmel. What you said is exactly what I have been sensing too. I am already trying to make sure he knows I feel it was a mistake and he is what I want. Yur advise definitely helps to reassure me that we can work out or that its going on the right path. Thank you.
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  1. more than a month ago
  2. Love
  3. # 1
Gimel Accepted Answer Pending Moderation
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Hi Jilly,

I feel that even though your relationship was on a break that he still felt as though you would work it out eventually. His bitter feelings and resentment must be addressed in the near term in order to rebuild the trust between you. Although you honestly explained the situation to him only a short time passed before you sought out the affection of another. This fact probably weighs heavily on his ego. His feeling of inadequacy must also be addressed in a tactful manner. I sense that complimenting him about his masculinity and reassuring him that he is attractive may help in this regard. I also feel that downplaying the fling as lapse of judgement on your part that made you realize how special he was might help also. Tell him that the pain of the break was more than you could handle and you just needed someone anyone to hold and comfort you. Explain that even though you sought comfort from another you always had an empty feeling like a piece of you was missing and that the missing piece was him.

I strongly feel that you can work through this but you need to honestly tell him that bringing up this issue periodically is putting a strain on your relationship and that you feel hurt when it comes up as you know in your heart that it was a mistake to try and fill the void you felt with a replacement. Explain that he does not need to bring it up as you already feel awful regarding your encounter while you guys where separated. Let him know that as long as you remain together he never need worry about fidelity as you learned a valuable lesson from your experience apart.
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  1. more than a month ago
  2. Love
  3. # 2


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