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You know that empty feeling in your chest, the one thats like a huge black hole? Ive had that for as long as I can remember, and even when Im in relationships I still have that loneliness (Probably because theyre bad relationships). I met a man last year and that loneliness went away, we became great friends, but thats all we will ever be, and when I realized that, the loneliness came back worse than ever. Can someone tell me when that feelings going to go away? When will I meet someone that will take it away? Can you give me any hope at all? With no hope, Im left with nothing. Please help.
posted in Love
Sunday, June 24 2012, 12:42 PM
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Accepted Answer

ladyK
ladyK
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Sunday, June 24 2012, 10:37 PM - #permalink
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I am sorry you had to go through as much as you did while growing up. While dealing with your past, you will end up bringing up some of your past demons, but this time you are in control. just bring them up slowly and you shouldn't have to sink too low. Also, you don't have to bring them up by re-living the experience, but while you are sorting through things, things can come up on the way to recovery. Unfortunately, it will be a constant work, but we all have a constant self healing going on, some of us just have a little more of it than others.

I recommend seeking professional help. A lot of cities and towns have a free or low cost places you can go to to talk to professionals. If that isn't available in your area, try yoga, meditation, or even writing a diary, also long walks can help.
Getting your thoughts out might help with coping since it gets it out of your head.

You can also try other methods, such as crystal healing or reiki. Crystal healing you can do on your own. Buy online or go to a store near you that sells crystals. For healing of the heart, rose quarts are always good. A general one is clear quarts. Few other good ones are amethyst, citrine among others. For sexual abuse, rhodochrosite. To help with the throat chakra, blue lace agate is good. Tigers eye are also good to bring energy. I also recommend if there's a store near you, browse and 'feel' their energy to figure out what speaks to you, then buying them online is usually cheaper but at least you got a feel for what you think might help you. Then a common method is to lay on your back and place the crystals at their appropriate chakras and relax. Do as often as you please, up to once a day or so. I recommend leaving the crystals on for about ** min to 120 min. I usually do **-** min. Also, read about what some of the crystals do. You can go to a book store and find a crystal book and browse through the pages. With crystals though, start a small collection, see if this method really works for you and only buy stones that feels like you'll benefit from them.

If the low cost or free professional isn't available in your area then the exercises and crystal therapy would probably be the cheapest options if you are on a budget. Just remember, the crystals absorb negative energy from you so you need to regularly clean them. You can place them in a glass bowl with water in it, often I put a little sea salt.

Hope some of those tips might come of use and if you have any further question, feel free to ask.

Good luck with the healing process, K
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  • Accepted Answer

    ladyK
    ladyK
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    Sunday, June 24 2012, 04:49 PM - #permalink
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    Hi BrokenSpirit,

    I don't mean to pry and you don't need to answer, but i feel that in your past, something traumatic happened to you. This may not have been death or anything like that. Also remember, what's traumatic for one may not be for someone else and what I mean by that is that the way we experience things is shaped heavily by what we have already been through. It is also shaped heavily of what we value in life. For example, some people are more family oriented than others so any trauma related to family will affect them more, while others are more money oriented so any financial down swing will affect them more, etc. We have all gone through something that felt traumatic to us and it is how we measure good and bad times.

    I feel whatever you went through in the past is surfacing as something you never finished dealing with but instead you suppressed it. This is coming up and it is reminding you to deal with it so you can find peace within yourself. When you start dealing with this past trauma you will slowly start finding that you yourself are your best company. When this healing process starts you will make room for someone worth your time to enter your life. Also, keep in mind that if you aren't happy you aren't going to attract happy people into your life. We attract people into our life based on where we are at ourselves.

    I feel before you can enter a happy relationship and feel happy, you need to look inwards and work on yourself to find true happiness.

    Hope this helps and good luck, K
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    Sunday, June 24 2012, 07:51 PM - #permalink
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    You're right Ive had a very traumatic past, from pretty much everyone I love dying around me, to being abused mentally, physically, and sexually, all of which happened to me growing up. Ive never been able to deal with any of it, and as a teenager turned to cutting to be able to cope with pain I was feeling on the inside. Now as an adult, I dont want to deal or think about any of that because I dont want to sink back down as low as I was, ya know? I guess because of my past, I cant trust anyone, especially men, and thats probably why it always ends badly. How can I learn to trust? How do I fix me without dragging out all those demons again? Thank you for all of your kind words and advice.
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    Sunday, June 24 2012, 11:28 PM - #permalink
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    Thank you so much, Ive heard about crystal healing before so Im going to look into that a bit further and try it now that I have an idea of how it works! Thanks so much again for all your help! :)
    • ladyK
      more than a month ago
      I recommend at least * healing things. For example, if on a budget, you can do crystal healing AND long walks AND/OR yoga AND/OR write a diary. The more methods you do, the faster you see results.

      The good thing about the crystal healing is that you don't have to re-live the bad experience like you might have to with a counselor. However, with self healing, just like with loosing weight, the more you do the faster results.

      When you try to loose weight you loose it faster if you eat right AND exercise, it's the same with self healing, the more methods you do the faster you will feel the results. Of course it would be unnecessary to do both walking and yoga everyday, but consider once a week to once a day. The diary will help you log in how you are feeling every day to document and get your emotions out of your head to leave room for new ones.

      Good luck, K
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