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Hey Gimel

I hope you don't mind me asking for a love reading at the same time as my other question but this has been weighing rather heavily on me lately. Since I've been in recovery from a lifelong bout with depression I've been wnting to get out onto the dating scene. However, the fear of accepting and recieving a man's love has always held me back. This has arisen from two prior relationships where guys have tried to push a reltionship along too fast. The first was in kindergartedn when a five year old developmentally disbled boy who didn't understand how relationships worked considered me his girlfirnd the first day he met me and kissed me on the lips. As a result, I felt utterly violated and unclomforatble. In the second relationship, again with a developmentally dsabled man who had trouble understanding relationships asked me to be his girlfirend after only meeting a few times. I really had no interest in him because of his disability so I told him "no" but he didn't get it and asked me again the next time we met. Because of this I have a deep distrust of men and a deep seated fear that any relationship I get into will move along too fast to where I will lose all control over it. How can I get over this fear and learn to open myself up to the right man? Since I'm rather inexperienced in love I haven't really thought about what I want in a mate so I thought you might be able to help with that as well. I also am struggling with being unable to attract guys despite being told that I'm pretty. Why is this? Is it something about my apperance or about the emtions or energy I'm conveying? If so, what can I do to change it to naturally draw the right type? And fnally, I'd like to have an idea of what my soulmate will be like what in regards to what he will look like and what part of the country he will be from. Any advice you can give me in this area will be greatly appreciated.
posted in Love
Wednesday, July 18 2012, 05:15 PM
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Accepted Answer

Saturday, July 21 2012, 12:16 AM - #permalink
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All I have been given for you is this - "Seek the help you need to lift the fears that keep you impounded in your life. When you start releasing the fear life starts to look up for you, and all you desire and dream for your life comes your way. Until you are happy and at peace with the self, you are not able to be happy and at peace with another. You have been guided to the appropriate 'help' that is there for you, it is time for you to take action for yourself. Once you have overcome many of these issues you will see, feel and find the beauty of the self, and also the World in which you live. It is time to let go and not hold yourself back."

This was all I was given. I wish you much love and light.
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  • Accepted Answer

    Sunday, August 05 2012, 09:49 PM - #permalink
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    Continue to do the healing on yourself that you are doing, is all i am getting. Keep it up, so by the time you get to Virginia, you would have made space within to be filled by someone.
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  • Accepted Answer

    Sunday, August 05 2012, 09:28 PM - #permalink
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    In writing letters to the bad memories from the schools that I went to and getting a reading saying that the root of a depression that I have recently fallen into was being blocked in love and luck by being hurt in previous relationships I stumbled upon the idea of writing letters to all the guys I've been with. But rather then go to the men themselves because they do not live near me now, I've decided to read the letters to facebook pictures of them detailing how their hurtful actions brought the fears into my life that are keeping love at bay and them putting them through a paper shredder as being symbolic of a final goodbye. Tonight I wrote my first one to a boy in first grade who made inappropriate advances and kissed me on the lips on the day he first met me because he didn't understand how relationships worked and wasn't able to read faces or body language due to him having Asperger's syndrome. As a result, I became uncomfortable and made every effort to avoid him. Then years later I went on a trip to EPCOT with him and was wierded out by him not wanting to put on his glasses to watch a 3D movie because he knew it was fake while I was like "So, I'm not going to let that stop me from enjoying the show. Back then I didn't know or understand the nature of his disability and that made me become prejudiced and fearful of mentally disabled people. But after doing some research, I have come to realize that he could not help his actions and needed training in order to develop social skills so I incorporated that new knowledge into my letter along with my sincere forgiveness and desire to let go of all the pain and hurt I was holding on to. Then after I went to destroy the letter I realized that my depression had instantly lifted, and that was just after letting go of the baggage from just one relationship!. Now I feel ever more hopeful of meeting my special someone especially with my family having a trip to Virginia planned for October to meet somebody that I've had this unusually strong connection to for the past eaight years. I have very good feeling that our friendship will grow much deeper as a result.
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  • Accepted Answer

    Monday, July 23 2012, 05:44 PM - #permalink
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    Well Angelique, I finally got the chance to put my idea into action. After spending a good deal of the afternoon in deep thought with a pen and notebook in front of me, I was able to see how truly fearful a person I was as I had come up with a whopping four and a half page list of all the things that have brought fear into my life for all the years I have been on this earth. No wonder I've been so weighed down by fear for so long and have been unable to attract love into my life because I have been projecting that fear onto other people and driving them away. Even though this has been a somewhat difficult process at times, it has definitely been worth it because I found that in the process of getting those fearful images and thoughts out of my mind and onto paper, it has helped me to see what I was doing as a way of finally gaining control over my fears instead of letting them control me so that I can now draw up a plan of action in order to tackle those fears once and for all. For this I can't thank you enough for the guidance and insight you have given me in helping me to help myself in these difficult times.
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    • Angelique
      more than a month ago
      Good for you CatawbaGurl. When you start tackling each fear you will start finding your Peace and open the way for all the good things you desire or wish to come to you. It can be a slow process but well worth it at the end of it.
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  • Accepted Answer

    Saturday, July 21 2012, 12:35 AM - #permalink
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    Good thinking Catawbagurl. You have taken the first step to help yourself. :)
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  • Accepted Answer

    Friday, July 20 2012, 11:54 PM - #permalink
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    Movin' this up. Hope you can answer this Angelique.
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